Project Runway Season 5 – Bright Lights/Big City

I find Suede talking about himself in the third person to be incredibly annoying. It didn’t bug me so much in the last episode, but when he started off this episode doing it, I just want to throw something at him.

And can I just say that, when Heidi said they’d be “mixing things up a bit” with the models, I actually thought they’d finally start making the designers use different models for a change? Like, it wouldn’t be a choice — you had to choose a different model.

I just feel like, in the real world, you’re not always going to have the same client. If anything, you’d be lucky to have tons of different clients and you’d also be forced to deal with different body shapes.

Can we get a little real for a change, Project Runway?

It surprises me a little that, when Heidi tells the designers that Tim will be taking them out on the town, none of them really suspect that this might be tied into some sort of challenge — at first.

Blayne — who perpetually annoys me every single time he’s on the camera (even if it’s just his elbow stuck in one of the frames and he’s not really actually in the scene) — gets all whiney to the camera, telling us that he wants to go out dancing, blah blah blah.

There are actually a lot of designers I don’t care for in this season of Project Runway — and many more that have failed to make any sort of real impression on me.

Tim takes them out in the rain onto a double decker tour bus. The challenge is to create a look inspired by New York at night — with the bus making four stops where the designers can get off with a camera and have an hour to find inspiration.

Tim announces at Columbus Circle that Suede, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer are to get off at this point for an hour — which I think is a bit of shame because Boorish Blayne, Sucky Stella, Non-Descript Keith, and Kenley (whom I like) get Times Square, which seems to be a location where there’s more to draw from.

Stella, though, quickly makes me think of one word: Clueless.

Grungy, ditz grandma can’t even fucking work the camera and her annoying voice grates across the screen as she whines to Blayne about how she doesn’t know how to work the camera.

Seriously — she might be all leather and stringy, damaged black hair and self-proclaimed “edge”, but here, she just comes across like an annoying grandmother who doesn’t know how to work anything and who’s overstayed her welcome.

Could someone please tell me again why she wasn’t booted out of the competition the first day for that God-awful garbage bag concoction?

Korto, Kelli and Joe stop off at the New York Public Library while Terri, Emily and Jerrell get off at Greenwich Village.

At the designers’ first trek to Mood Fabrics, Stella’s constant whining for help with the fabrics annoyed the hell out of me. She seriously needs to shut her pie hole.

Back in the workroom, I have to admit that when I get a look at Kenley’s fabric that she’s chosen, it doesn’t look anything like the photo that she took for inspiration and I’m not wild about the green print, either. It looks dated and ugly.

Keith’s design involved hundreds of small pieces of fabric sewn onto it — and I wasn’t crazy about it because, while it was a lot of work, I agree with Stella (shocker!) that nobody would really wear that.

It’s unflattering to the form. Just look at the model:

(Later, Michael Kors would tell him, the dress literally looked like it had bits of toilet paper stuck to it from a wind storm while Heidi says it doesn’t seem to have a form and that you can’t really tell if there’s a nice body lurking underneath that dress.)

When Tim comes into check in on the designers, I take a closer look at Tim’s mentoring after having seen Henry at work on Project Runway Australia.

He’s got a great poker face, but when he likes something, he’s really open about letting the designers know it. I also find his comments are very honest and helpful — that’s why it’s a disappointment when the designers don’t listen to him.

Blayne further annoys me when he attempts to introduce a catchphrase: “Holla at your boy.”

Please — you’re no Christian Siriano, so please just shut the fuck up.

His design is hideous to the nth degree. It also looks a lot like Emily’s outfit. Black dresses with nasty neon-coloured fabric sewn on top in unflattering swaths.

Here’s Emily with her monstrous design:

You know what else I get mixed up with?

Designers Jennifer and Leanne, who are both similar in that bland, mousy-haired look.

I was completely confused at first because it took me awhile to catch onto the fact that these were two different people.

But I digress.

Guest judge, Sandra Bernhard, joins the panel for this show and at first, I have to admit that I’m totally confused as to why she’s a guest judge.

It’s sort of like when they had Debra Messing as a guest judge one year — it’s like…”Okay. You’re a celebrity. You wear designer outfits…but that makes you an expert on fashion…how?”

This is what Michael Kors had to say about Sandra Bernard:

Sandra Bernhard she’s a double whammy. She’s been on the New York scene for so many years and a fashion lover. And definitely has an eye for clothes. She’s not a celebrity who lives in her own bubble. This is a woman of the streets, so to speak. She understands about bodies and what looks good on people, what will proportionally work well, and also what legitimately plays in New York. She’s not an out-of-towner with her vision of what New York is — she really knows. So when designers come up with “Oh, that’s for a gallery opening.” I think Sandra says, “Well, I’ve never been to that kind of gallery.”

Okay, fine.

I thought Dame Nina looked fabulous in her outfit — I’ll admit, though, that for a fashion “expert”, I don’t always notice what she’s wearing, whereas with Sarah Gale, one of the judges for Project Runway Australia, I always notice what she’s wearing because she’s not afraid of colour and she always looks fresh and stylish.

Kenley wins — which surprises me…especially when Dame Nina states that the dress is “adorable”:

Of this design, Tim writes in his blog:

I’m happy for her, but I’m still scratching my head over her design. The judges described her look as “Ungaro meets Lacroix” and they were right, but is that a good thing? The silhouette channeled Ungaro, while the textiles — a riotous green print and strawberry-to-grape ombred tulle — evoked Lacroix. I thought it looked very costumey, too costumey, and even Sandra Bernhard stated, “I have difficulties with this look. I don’t get it.” Admittedly, this look isn’t for everyone!

I wasn’t crazy about Terri’s “street” design, but Sandra Bernhard declared it fierce and said that this was the sort of outfit that a certain girl would wear — the kind of girl who, if she was walking down a dark alley and someone was on her tail, she’d turn around and say, “I have a knife and I will cut you up!” (That cracked me up. It made me rethink the outfit. Maybe I should consider wearing it.)

Leanne also wins kudos for her two-piece, which Michael Kors appreciated because (and this is a valid point), not everybody wears a dress every day. God knows I don’t. If there’s anything I love, it’s a multi-purpose shirt or skirt that can go with a number of other variations to create a completely new look.

I would definitely buy Leanne’s outfit — I think she should have won, actually.

Emily, however, is out.

Sandra Bernard says it’s too over-the-top and distracting and Dame Nina even cites Carmen Miranda — she of the banana and tropical fruit head dress from The Gang’s All Here.

Michael Kors said, “If in doubt, keep it simple.”

Tim writes:

I was concerned about her look from the moment of my first visit to her workspace. The black sheath was constructed with some problematic darts at the hips, and the multicolored flounces of ruffled fabric were awkwardly placed and looked like a stuck on afterthought. She was confident that her design was strong enough to survive the possibility of a runway pummeling. Regrettably, the design didn’t.

~ by justj on August 4, 2008.

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